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big problems

Things we cannot escape

There are many examples of suffering in the world. Always. But, especially, it seems, right now. I don’t have the credentials to speak to most of it. But I have suffered. And I can’t gauge how much, exactly – there is no adequate metric. But I’ve suffered enough that I thought it might end me.… Read More »Things we cannot escape

Adequate signage

Many things can happen only in iterations. When we can’t know how the pieces will behave until we let them loose in the world, we learn primarily through failure. And that kind of learning can be…enchanting, actually. It can be so much fun when something breaks in an unexpected way, and such a joy to… Read More »Adequate signage

Will we destroy it?

I am an eternal, relentless optimist. I cannot help but believe that, no matter how much shit we might have to trudge through first, things will always work out for the best in the end. And I cannot help, either, but to believe in the best of everyone’s nature, no matter how hidden the good… Read More »Will we destroy it?

Strange times

I’ve been skimming the surface of my life again lately. What am I avoiding? We are living in strange times. It seems trite to say – what part of the modern era hasn’t been strange? But things seem to be getting stranger. Whenever I think about it, I also can’t help but to think about… Read More »Strange times

Child’s Pose

For a long time, there has been this small, tight, red hot ball of rage living inside me, that mostly I don’t go anywhere near. But, every so often, a person who knows exactly how to stoke it will come along with their stick and reduce me to an impotent, sweaty, seething puddle, helplessly burning… Read More »Child’s Pose

Speciesism

When a horse is either excited or nervous, you can tell. They prance, each step springing upwards more than outwards, nostrils flared, neck arched, tail high, hind-quarters primed for action. The distinction between excitement and anxiety, like for us, is more about context than physiology, so you can’t necessarily tell the difference unless you have… Read More »Speciesism

Hospitable to gastropods

I’m pretty sure there is a slug living in my bedroom. Slugs used to visit my bedroom through a crack in the skirting board. For a long time I didn’t realise because my dresser was there and hid their shiny trails, keeping their secret. But one day I rearranged my furniture, and their slimy nights… Read More »Hospitable to gastropods

True motivations

Guilt. I have a lot of it. It sets in every time my son goes off to his dad’s house. I didn’t do enough with the time I had. I wasn’t kind enough, certain enough, thoughtful enough, engaging enough. I wasn’t good enough. And now he’s gone. A mini grief every time he walks out… Read More »True motivations

In an ideal world

I’m laughing at myself a little bit because I just read the first lines of my last post and realised that, even in my correction, I still only went as far as saying in an ideal world I could create the school that I want to send my son to; not that it already exists.… Read More »In an ideal world

When you’re too small

The impetus for me writing about the insane double bind I place myself in when contemplating the notion of interacting with the world was the crisis unfolding in Afghanistan. Because I wanted to write about it, but how could I possibly have value to add? I know nothing. And, unlike some world events of recent… Read More »When you’re too small