I have always been an over-ambitious and obstinate masochist. I have fought with that, and prided in that, I’ve denied it, and worried I’ve lost it. It has been my downfall on many occasions and, just as often, my only saving grace. I’ve written before about this proclivity, and also about how it seems to… Read More »A convergence
Recently, I was rejoicing quietly about the fact that I had been communicating with people in a professional capacity without excessive post-comms rumination. I didn’t do anything directly to attain this freedom, though I thought I might be able to trace its provenence. Regardless, it felt like I’d magically put things in their rightful place,… Read More »Husky mind
I have been playing with ChatGPT a bit lately. It’s an excellent crutch for people like me who question their every move with cripplingly minute detail. I can ask it questions I already know the answer to, and have it soothe me with vague validation that henceforth emboldens me toward action. I can ask it,… Read More »Chatty
I recently took my son on an exciting camping trip near Chester. We pitched our tent on a small site, made friends with the people with marshmallows, explored the haunted caravan, spent one long day at the aquarium and another, longer day at the zoo, then packed up early one morning and headed to a… Read More »Just me
I’ve been skimming the surface of my life again lately. What am I avoiding? We are living in strange times. It seems trite to say – what part of the modern era hasn’t been strange? But things seem to be getting stranger. Whenever I think about it, I also can’t help but to think about… Read More »Strange times
It’s funny how most of our fears are not the fears we think they are when we think them. Well, I can only really speak for myself, but I know it is reported to be a wider human proclivity. I have been noticing lately, when I get a scary thought, the vague fear that encroaches… Read More »Interrogated fear
There is this concept of the good enough parent. The idea is that you don’t need to be perfect, exceptional or outstanding to raise relatively healthy children, you just need to be good enough. It’s intended to present a more reasonable, realistic and forgiving standard than some alternative paradigms, particularly in regard to expectations of… Read More »Good enough
We all make our choices, and I thought I’d have more to show for mine by now. But that doesn’t mean they were the wrong choices, or that I’d necessarily want the things I thought I’d have to show. Or the things I see other people showing. I am on the road as we all… Read More »Checkpoints
There have been a lot of shiny objects, pressing deadlines, conflicting priorities and disruptive forces these past couple of weeks. Life is bigger than it has been for years, so it all seems right on track as an external manifestation of the inevitable resistance. Certainly enough to rattle me. Enough for me to foresee the… Read More »Turbulence
When a horse is either excited or nervous, you can tell. They prance, each step springing upwards more than outwards, nostrils flared, neck arched, tail high, hind-quarters primed for action. The distinction between excitement and anxiety, like for us, is more about context than physiology, so you can’t necessarily tell the difference unless you have… Read More »Speciesism