Everything seems to come back around. Everything is some kind of repetition. All of these blog posts are recycled from some thoughts I’ve already had, or perhaps words I’ve already written, perhaps even from this very blog. And that’s what we seem to require as humans, for progress, and for meaning. My life, my personality, my… Read More »Recurrent Themes
Yes, the creature is tiny. Yes, the creature is getting bigger. But mainly, regardless of size, the creature is big. So roadtrips, exhaustion, extremely hungry creature and mastitis took me away from my keyboard. Just as I thought time was starting to make sense again, it wasn’t. And as I floated through the nebula of… Read More »Big Tiny Creature
Let’s be straight: This new baby stuff is pretty sucky at times. When sitting is unbearably uncomfortable because of your wounded nether regions but there’s a tiny creature needing you to sit and feed him about a quarter of the time, or maybe more. When you fell asleep two minutes ago and the tiny creature… Read More »Tiny Creature
For quite a while I didn’t really feel like writing. I had things that I wanted to write about ‘some other time’, and I filed them away, as I often do, but I was letting the current of fresh parenthood take me where it would, and that wasn’t to this page. Then I started wanting… Read More »The Aftermath
11 days late, my son was born into the world under slightly different circumstances than I had planned or would have liked. I had missed my opportunity to have a home birth and so, after holding off for as long as I could, we headed into hospital not much before 11pm. We were shown into… Read More »The Last Push
I had started writing a post on the 17th, albeit never getting past the title, contemplating the idea that I was somewhat responsible for my son’s delayed exit/entrance. I have a tendency to claim unnecessary responsibility, it’s true, but considering anxiety, for instance, is shown to slow labour, I had to come to terms with the… Read More »Interval
While pre-labour things have been happening intermittently for quite a while now, still nothing has officially kicked off. So Malachi is now a week ‘overdue’, although of course we’re still within a pretty normal timeframe. My timeframe for a home birth, on the other hand, is almost over, as there is only a midwife on… Read More »Still waiting
A while ago I posted about my discovery of Cors Caron bog in Wales. It was a quiet place. Often I’d visit on dreary days and never see another soul. I’d walk around the boardwalk, talking freely out loud to myself about all manner of strange and spiritual matters. Occasionally I’d get caught out by a… Read More »Mother Bog
I thought it was all kicking off in the night. I awoke to pain and contraction, a weird wave sensation and a stabbing in my cervix. And it kept going. It faded and returned. Things continued this way for some time. I thought ‘this must be it’. And then I thought ‘FUCK, THIS MUST BE IT’.… Read More »Tick tock
Tonight I am very awake. Unusually awake. Suspiciously awake. To my recollection, I’ve been awake all day. We even went out for a substantial walk earlier. Ordinarily heavily pregnant Yve would have been exhausted. But here I am, tip-tapping away, positively bouncing in my chair. So of course one may wonder if something is about… Read More »Embracing pain