Am I bad?

Today I am unshakeably irritable. I didn’t get enough sleep and I received an email first thing that kicked up some stuff for me, and now my bandwidth is consumed with managing poor quality thoughts, and anything more than that is met with vexation.

I just want to go to sleep.

And, coincidentally, some of what has been kicked up is the fear that I’m still sleeping my life away.

Am I bad? Am I living badly? Am I doing a bad job?

Let’s be straight – I could be better. I could be so much better. I could do so much more. That’s fine. I know. I’m generally trying to nurture myself there.

But today I want to hide in a hole to escape the overwhelming burden of my inadequacy.

Instead, I’m doing my best to turn this into an opportunity to have conversations with my toddler about what it means to be grumpy.

Am I bad? am I living badly? Am I doing a bad job?

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