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May 2020

We must try harder

It can be difficult, sometimes, to remember that we’re all human. It’s exhausting to think about all those human lives playing out simultaneously; all those innumerable experiences overlapping and interlinking and co-creating our shared reality. All those emotions. All that suffering and trumph and longing and relief. All that love and all that loss. All… Read More »We must try harder

Ancient wounds

Today has been a difficult day. The reasons are layered. I have been gifted more cake than a person can eat, and I have thus eaten more of it than a person should eat. Substituting real nutrition with delicious sweet baked goods has put me on the back foot. A situation in my personal life… Read More »Ancient wounds

Draw the line

It’s surprising how easily old patterns can creep up on you. Today I caught myself in the old habit of ‘absorbing damage’. That is to say I was putting in extra work to process the emotional fallout of someone else’s choices. When I didn’t need to accept that. There was nothing real in it for… Read More »Draw the line

Happy birthday to me

So, I’m thirty. Seems like about time. I feel thirty. Not young, not old. Much like twenty-nine, or thirty-one, but just a little bit neater, wrapped up with a bow. I don’t see much significance in the number. I wondered if I would once it changed, but I don’t. I’m sure that over the next… Read More »Happy birthday to me

Maritime industry

Sometimes, things happen in life. It feels quite rare to me, that things happen. My life generally feels peaceful and uneventful, a millpond rather than an ocean, and sometimes I feel like maybe I should splash about a bit more just to make some ripples. The reason I sometimes feel like I’d enjoy some more… Read More »Maritime industry

The patience challenge

Talk to some people and they’d tell you I am infuriatingly impatient. Talk to others and they may have even been convinced that my patience is saintly. For me, at least, patience comes down to how I’m grappling with desire and control. The more I want something, and the more I think I may have… Read More »The patience challenge

Self-worth and wealth

I’m starting to see how fundamental self-worth is, now that I can honestly say that I have it. Case in point: I have struggled to get out of my large overdraft for the past ten years. In my early twenties, it just kept gradually getting bigger. And then I clawed my way out of it… Read More »Self-worth and wealth

The wisdom we thought we had

I have a book reserved for writing song lyrics in. I’ve been writing songs since I was about nine, but I started this book in 2013. It’s a space I have cyclically attended, at the times of my life where it has felt like the only way to let the feelings move through me is… Read More »The wisdom we thought we had

Expand and retreat

Out walking today, it was very, very windy. After aborting our beach walk, we were heading inland, my son in a carrier with the cover over his head like he hasn’t been for about two years now. We’d had quite the adventure racing to shelter when the wind picked up. He’d had enough of the… Read More »Expand and retreat