I’m starting to see how fundamental self-worth is, now that I can honestly say that I have it.
Case in point: I have struggled to get out of my large overdraft for the past ten years. In my early twenties, it just kept gradually getting bigger. And then I clawed my way out of it by twenty-four, but could never make it stick. I’d break even, and then need it for something big, or change my life and lose my income, or get myself into a situation where I was just, for some reason, haemmorhaging money. There was just never quite enough money, and I couldn’t figure out how to make there be more, or to make the need less.
In the last few months, without trying very hard, I have watched my financial situation transform. My current account is so healthy I don’t know what to do with it. And it pivoted around me realising I was worthy without qualification. I mean you could argue it was coincidence, or luck. A bloody long string of lucky coincidences. But the fact is I started interacting with the world differently. I started seeing and handling opportunities differently. I set my standards for myself higher.
Maybe you really do just get what you think you deserve. I mean, how else do we explain Donald Trump? Maybe the real privilege is being born into a life where you don’t ever need to question whether you deserve to exist.