If I can just explain

The truth is I would use your approval as a proxy for the approval I’m withholding from myself.

If you say it’s okay, I can rest easy, ignoring the voice in my own head that says it’s not.

It’s easier to win the outside world’s favour than my own – its standards are always lower. It lets me off the hook, and I can just go on living, without asking myself why that voice is telling me it’s not okay.

But I’ve never been trying to convince you of anything – only me.

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