My response to taking more tangible ‘ownership’ of my blog seems to have been fairly predictable, in that I promptly disengaged from writing it. I don’t think it was necessarily as simple as that, but it was also definitely as simple as that. A micro expression of what was happening in the macro. I was… Read More »Face it
I think I’m at risk of starting to look like a homeless person. You see, my eras are defined sartorially. I buy clothes, I wear them ’til they break, I keep wearing them until the situation becomes untenable, I fix the clothes, I wear them ’til they’re unfixable, and then I reluctantly toss them and… Read More »Take the shirt off my back
The truth is I would use your approval as a proxy for the approval I’m withholding from myself. If you say it’s okay, I can rest easy, ignoring the voice in my own head that says it’s not. It’s easier to win the outside world’s favour than my own – its standards are always lower.… Read More »If I can just explain
Is anything ever really over? Is there ever a hard line? The closer you look, the blurrier it gets. I’ve always seen in far too many shades of grey for my own good. Clarity is not a natural by-product of my thinking. But there are times in my life I look back on, with the… Read More »The Spiral
A few months ago I did a thing I had vowed never to do. I sent a letter to someone I had promised myself I wouldn’t contact again. I had known for a long time that I was depriving myself of resolution by not attempting contact, but I had been prioritising avoiding the discomfort I… Read More »The Undelivered Letter
The only woman I’ve ever really viscerally wanted to be is singer-songwriter, Paramore frontwoman and ‘hair dye tycoon’ Hayley Williams. And that’s not a thing borne out of fandom, especially, though I have come to appreciate her work in recent years. It’s because part of me resonates so keenly with her, in a way I… Read More »Hayley
I grew up into a person who believed very strongly in self-sufficiency. In every sense. It was not only what I sought to achieve, but also something I believed was necessary for me to achieve in order to become worthy. I don’t think it was just an unreasonable ideal I was chasing to validate myself.… Read More »Off the grid
Lately, I have been numbing with noise. There are worse vices. But it has become a diminishing factor in my life. I can’t seem to go anywhere without an input available, and I’m not being as deliberate about quality as I usually would be, either. I can tell it’s making my existing meditation practice as… Read More »Lurking in wait
I long lived under the mantra if it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well. And that thus expanded out to mean if you don’t do it well, you wasted your time, energy and resources, it was a bad decision and you should feel bad about it. That’s wholly incorrect. For so many bloody reasons. But… Read More »Something worth doing
Jesus fucking Christ I started this blog over four and a half years ago. Imagine if it had been successful??? Could have changed my fucking life! The thing is it did. It has completely served its purpose every step of the way – it has done everything I’ve ever asked of it. I just never… Read More »Easy enough