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reflection

Seven years, five lessons

I have been…’blogging’…here for nigh on seven years. Sometimes it was daily, sometimes I disappeared for months at a time. Sometimes I told my dearest stories, sometimes I barely scraped together a meaningful sentence. Always it was for me and no-one else, and always the potentially public nature of it was inexplicably important. Why? Why… Read More »Seven years, five lessons

Interesting choices

I tried TikTok once. As in I tried making some TikToks. It was a short-lived effort because it was an all-consuming dopamine farm with very little real-world utility. Just another carcass in the elephant graveyard of my endeavours. But I just looked back on them. And I like them. I like me in them. I’m… Read More »Interesting choices

Under the sky

It’s amazing the clarity that can come just from standing under the sky for a few quiet moments. It’s something I forget to do – it’s easy to get caught up in work, or chores, or scheduled activities. Easy to keep the quiet reflection for bedtime. But there is a quality to The Outside that… Read More »Under the sky

Abandoned trails

I was out walking the other day, thinking about my lack of expertise. Wondering what the thing I would talk about would be if I had to spontaneously give a talk. And thinking it might be horses, because I niched down enough there to be uncommon in my knowledge, even though it’s remained dusty on… Read More »Abandoned trails

Running through

I have been running again lately. Not a lot, just weekly for about 40 minutes. And I have a running playlist for when I do the running. David Goggins says listening to music while running is cheating, and I am inclined to agree. It is much easier to run when you’re listening to the right… Read More »Running through

Shatter me

There have been a few times in my life where I have truly made a decisions because inside I knew I must. In those instances, the fear of what might happen, or even what definitely would happen, couldn’t challenge my knowing. I walked out, arms wide, ready to take the bullets. Of course, the bullets… Read More »Shatter me

Who am I to be?

I’m at an interesting place in my life. A place of dissatisfaction, curiosity, boredom, frustration, possibility, confusion, excitement, resignation…a lot of strands of experience are coalescing into my present moment. It started with an unavailable man. Most of my stories start with unavailable men. I had been annoyed that I hadn’t been able to find… Read More »Who am I to be?

The lost meander

I think something I have missed over the last year is living slow. Not that I can say I’ve been living fast, exactly. More like I’ve been running along the knife-edge between adequate accomplishment and exhaustion. Getting the things done I needed to get done when I needed to get them done, and then crashing… Read More »The lost meander

Decision tree

I just went through and deleted all of my drafts. Most of them were unplanted seeds – random thoughts I liked the feel of but never enough to nurture into more than a few sentences. A few were complete, unpublished entries written by a person in a different place and time. Eloquent, witty, no longer… Read More »Decision tree

Chatty

I have been playing with ChatGPT a bit lately. It’s an excellent crutch for people like me who question their every move with cripplingly minute detail. I can ask it questions I already know the answer to, and have it soothe me with vague validation that henceforth emboldens me toward action. I can ask it,… Read More »Chatty