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anxiety

Turbulence

There have been a lot of shiny objects, pressing deadlines, conflicting priorities and disruptive forces these past couple of weeks. Life is bigger than it has been for years, so it all seems right on track as an external manifestation of the inevitable resistance. Certainly enough to rattle me. Enough for me to foresee the… Read More »Turbulence

Speciesism

When a horse is either excited or nervous, you can tell. They prance, each step springing upwards more than outwards, nostrils flared, neck arched, tail high, hind-quarters primed for action. The distinction between excitement and anxiety, like for us, is more about context than physiology, so you can’t necessarily tell the difference unless you have… Read More »Speciesism

Mitigation

I am attention grabbing by nature. I’m tall and ‘attractive’, to kick things off. I like to wear bright colours, and items that would generally be considered statements. I have big eyes, and I use them extensively. My walk is more of a dance to the music, and I’m often grinning for no good reason.… Read More »Mitigation

Paid dues

I think I’ve made a decision. It’s a decision I’ve made a bunch of times before, and then gone back on. But I think – finally – life has lovingly, firmly, backed me into a corner. There really is just no weaseling out of it now. If I don’t make this decision now, I’m categorically… Read More »Paid dues

Hospitable to gastropods

I’m pretty sure there is a slug living in my bedroom. Slugs used to visit my bedroom through a crack in the skirting board. For a long time I didn’t realise because my dresser was there and hid their shiny trails, keeping their secret. But one day I rearranged my furniture, and their slimy nights… Read More »Hospitable to gastropods

Accurate boxes

I have been very stubbornly refusing to use tags and categories correctly on this blog. Part of it is because the faff of having to apply them correctly was what nearly put me off having a blog. So I decided, very intentionally, to just not use them the way they are supposed to be used,… Read More »Accurate boxes

Easy enough

Jesus fucking Christ I started this blog over four and a half years ago. Imagine if it had been successful??? Could have changed my fucking life! The thing is it did. It has completely served its purpose every step of the way – it has done everything I’ve ever asked of it. I just never… Read More »Easy enough

Making it something

Lately, just as an exercise to prove I’m not self-obsessed, I’ve been trying to think of posts I could write that don’t start with ‘I’. I’m not very good at it. Maybe all I’m good at is airing my dirty brain laundry. I’ve also been thinking about ways I can introduce additional streams of income… Read More »Making it something

The reason

I’m kinda antsy about people coming into my house. Like I have this nice idea of myself some time in the future just welcoming all of these friends new and old into my beautiful, inviting, spacious home and generously sharing my bounty with them all in whichever way is appropriate. But, truth is, right now,… Read More »The reason

Blanket inhibition

I attended a writers’ talk this evening and, while I was listening, a few questions bubbled up that I wanted to ask. But the time for questions didn’t come until the end. By which point I’d forgotten all but one, and I was second-guessing whether it was relevant, whether it was a question that would… Read More »Blanket inhibition