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desire

Precious thing

I have a tendency to burn through things. I ‘ve alluded to this a few times here – I believed it was simply an occupational hazard of living in my brain. But I think I’m starting to understand something different. I don’t think the burnout is inevitable. I think it might be a side-effect of… Read More »Precious thing

Wordgame: Baby

I’ve just come out of a two-day water fast, I’ve got the day off work, and, before I turn back to my gleeful-first-draft-of-a-second-novel, I thought let’s pull something out of the elephant box. I have never been one for pet names. But I am a sucker for an American accent. Any American accent; I am… Read More »Wordgame: Baby

Overhead lines

Today was a hot day. I think the hottest on record for these here British Isles. And I chose to ride on the Metro – the notoriously outdated, incompetent, delay-ridden public transport service that had just yesterday melted. I could have opted to stay at home. I could have opted to take the car. But… Read More »Overhead lines

S Pen

My mobile device of the past three and a half years has been getting a little ornery lately. In its defence, it has been dropped on countless occasions with absolutely no consideration for its wellbeing. But still, the situation was becoming tedious. I convinced myself to hold off on rectifying things with an impulse purchase… Read More »S Pen

Hayley

The only woman I’ve ever really viscerally wanted to be is singer-songwriter, Paramore frontwoman and ‘hair dye tycoon’ Hayley Williams. And that’s not a thing borne out of fandom, especially, though I have come to appreciate her work in recent years. It’s because part of me resonates so keenly with her, in a way I… Read More »Hayley

Happy Val Day, Sab

Some things stick with you, I guess. Like that episode of Sabrina The Teenage Witch where Harvey made her a Valentine’s card but he was so obsessed with it being symmetrical that he kept cutting it smaller and smaller, and in the end he could only fit on ‘Happy Val Day, Sab’, but then the… Read More »Happy Val Day, Sab

Paid dues

I think I’ve made a decision. It’s a decision I’ve made a bunch of times before, and then gone back on. But I think – finally – life has lovingly, firmly, backed me into a corner. There really is just no weaseling out of it now. If I don’t make this decision now, I’m categorically… Read More »Paid dues

Miracles

When I was eleven or twelve, someone from my old school got in touch with me out of the blue because they knew I liked horses and they were part-loaning a horse whose mother was also available for part-loan. It was an acquaintance rather than a friend, and not someone I would have chosen to… Read More »Miracles

Picture postcard

As I had failed to capitalise on the actual opportunity, I decided to pull the thread of my art show attraction in the comfort of my own bed. And, no, I don’t mean by masturbating, I mean by lying in the dark coming up with ideas. I followed the pathways my brain wanted to pursue.… Read More »Picture postcard

In an ideal world

I’m laughing at myself a little bit because I just read the first lines of my last post and realised that, even in my correction, I still only went as far as saying in an ideal world I could create the school that I want to send my son to; not that it already exists.… Read More »In an ideal world