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integrity

Accounting

Something I have thought about quite a lot over the years is how, as a youngster, I lacked accountability. I was terrified of the consequences of being found out to have made a mistake, and I lived in an environment which made it easy not to be discovered. Culpability became this black box of horror… Read More »Accounting

Face it

My response to taking more tangible ‘ownership’ of my blog seems to have been fairly predictable, in that I promptly disengaged from writing it. I don’t think it was necessarily as simple as that, but it was also definitely as simple as that. A micro expression of what was happening in the macro. I was… Read More »Face it

Wordgame: Split

I have had two memorable experiences of a visceral split in my life. I’m not referring to a mere change in external factors, but rather a feeling deep within me of being torn asunder. The first, when Polaris disappeared, was abrupt, catastrophic and incomprehensible. The only way I could describe it at the time was… Read More »Wordgame: Split

Throttle

I’ve been living in a double bind for quite an extended period of time and I’m only just admitting it to myself. Whilst languishing in denial, I’ve tried all kinds of mental and emotional gymnastics to work myself around the trap, but I think I’m going to have to concede that I can’t move forward… Read More »Throttle

The mess

Life is messy. I’m sure I’ve talked about this before. I wholeheartedly support life being a mess. I believe it is really the only way for it to ever be beautiful. And so, many times, I have made it a point to embrace the mess…until the overwhelming compulsion to clean up the whole debacle has… Read More »The mess