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life

The Spiral

Is anything ever really over? Is there ever a hard line? The closer you look, the blurrier it gets. I’ve always seen in far too many shades of grey for my own good. Clarity is not a natural by-product of my thinking. But there are times in my life I look back on, with the… Read More »The Spiral

Grief

There is so much to grieve. Who we could have been. Who we’ll never be. What we could have had. What we did have and lost. What we’ve never been, and will never be, even anywhere close to having. There is so much to grieve. And so little time to grieve in. We could live… Read More »Grief

Someone

Sometimes I try to work out if I could still be someone. Do I still have time to become Neil Gaiman? Or have I already fucked it? I definitely can’t be Elon or Sufjan or Jason or Guy. But there are a few options left on the table. Why are all the people I want… Read More »Someone

An ache

Do we all ache for more time? I’ve heard people hypothesise that death is a blessing specifically because if we had time stretching out into infinity we’d grow disinterested and depressed with life – no urgency, no impetus, nothing to make the endeavour worthwhile. I proffer a disagreement. I can see that being an option,… Read More »An ache

Intermittent

It’s hard, once you stop, to start up again. My life is set up to be intermittent. That’s not my preference, it’s just the way it is. As much as I inherently rail against routine, I do better with consistency and, knowing this, I have tried to seek it out. Unfortunately I have not been… Read More »Intermittent

Checkpoints

We all make our choices, and I thought I’d have more to show for mine by now. But that doesn’t mean they were the wrong choices, or that I’d necessarily want the things I thought I’d have to show. Or the things I see other people showing. I am on the road as we all… Read More »Checkpoints