I have been lost in nebulous theory lately.
The theory of what is happening right now. The theory of what needs to be done. The theory of what I need to do.
I work best with concrete to-do lists. And to formulate those, I need space and time set aside to gather myself, sort out the tangle, and organise it into neat actionable words. So overwhelming have these past few weeks been, that I have instead defaulted to whirlwind scrawl on every scrap of paper that passes me by. I’m saving countless Facebook posts, YouTube videos, Instagram screenshots, websites, books and podcasts for later with little to no thought for indexing. I’ve been hoping that I’ll settle down soon, without any kind of plan for how that will happen.
I’ve been lost because my goals cannot yet be fully defined. And so, like everything else, my metrics remain theoretical. I have been taking action; grabbing at things when the moment arises, and sometimes even spending time seeking out the action. But without the distilled knowledge of theory, action is weak.
I need to keep visiting the Theory Nebula. My work is most certainly not done there. But the part I have been missing recently – the disconnect – has been organising what I’ve learned into something I can use.
To-do lists are basically self-care for me. I need to get on that.