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self worth

Ride the Lightning

I met Metallica once. It wasn’t much to brag about – it was a festival meet-and-greet that I didn’t earn or really appreciate – but it’s a card I sometimes pull out to fast-track connection with a certain demographic of acquaintance. I was maybe fifteen and, though I was only really familiar with them by… Read More »Ride the Lightning

Off the grid

I grew up into a person who believed very strongly in self-sufficiency. In every sense. It was not only what I sought to achieve, but also something I believed was necessary for me to achieve in order to become worthy. I don’t think it was just an unreasonable ideal I was chasing to validate myself.… Read More »Off the grid

Rust bucket

When I sold my old Golf to a breaker for fifty quid, we met at a junction in the middle of nowhere, and he drove it away illegally through the narrow Welsh backroads. It all felt terribly sudden. I got a message half an hour later saying ‘I have no idea why but I absolutely… Read More »Rust bucket

A mild quarrel

I had plenty of sleep last night, and woke up feeling lively. My son and I danced, and made stamp pictures, and talked about Pokemon, and were out earlier than usual to get some things to supplement our breakfast from the local shop, which we then enjoyed as a sort of mini morning picnic on… Read More »A mild quarrel

Don’t step in the manure

I have a deeply ingrained belief that I am a liability. I have fiercely internalised the idea that the world would be better off if I just didn’t get involved. Which conflicts greatly with my burning desire to just get involved with, kind of, everything in the whole entire Universe. But it also conflicts greatly… Read More »Don’t step in the manure