The extended debrief

I’ve been involved in some verbal conflicts over the past few days. It’s quite unusual for me, but I have been realising lately it’s something I need to get more accustomed to. The online space is one thing, but face to face, in real time, conflict has a greater effect on my heart rate than I would like.

I spent quite a lot of time and energy deconstructing each conflict; trying to take all of their lessons with me. In the past, I have considered this habit to be harmful or weak. The fact I couldn’t stop thinking about it. But I’ve come to realise that if I allow my thoughts to naturally progress, being careful to keep them in balance, they lead me, in due course, to a natural conclusion. And if I commit to being present for that journey, there is a lot to be gained from it. And then next time it takes far less effort to regroup and recover and regain a steady beat.

Sometimes I think we forget that discomfort and even mental anguish can serve a purpose. They aren’t to be avoided any more than they are to be dwelled in; they are to be understood.