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The Giant Within

As part of my endeavour to drag myself out of inertia yesterday, I started reading ‘Awaken The Giant Within’ by Tony Robbins. It was time to start a new book anyway, and it seemed like, as unpalatable as the idea of trying to be better was to Exhausted Yve, Tony Robbins was probably what I needed.

I read the first chapter, with a nap in between if I recall. It didn’t fire me up or anything. But it started to trickle through. And at some point, it started to feel like I might be able to do something with my day today.

Then I had a load of weird nightmares last night. I woke up in a sweat with a racing heart, having just cried out desperately ‘WHY DOES EVERYTHING GET RUINED?’ after I refused to eat an undercooked egg my mother had made me, leaving her inconsolably offended. And for some reason, all the dread and fear and worry about all kinds of stupid shit flooded into my being as I lay there trying to recover at 4am. And I thought today was probably crippled.

But then I calmed down and fed the cat, and had some cereal and read some more. And I went back to bed at half 7 and had some better quality sleep. And the Yve of today was alright after all.

I read somewhere recently that almost all of our failings and frustrations in modern life are just down to our lack of good quality sleep affecting our mood and decision making processes. I’m only sleeping in hour long bursts most nights right now so that sounds like a pretty handy excuse for me.

But even with that and whatever else working against us, with a bit of self-awareness we can still make a choice to be better. Maybe not our best – that might be too much of a stretch – but better than we are right now. And if we keep choosing that, even in the tiniest increments, we will probably get to some place good.

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