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The nature of the waves

I’ve done it again.

I’ve been hoarding drafts.

Things always seem, for me, to come in waves. The urge swells from within, breaches the surface, breaks, then dissipates. And I am left waiting for the next one.

In all things, this seems to be the way, and no matter what I do, I don’t seem to impact the rhythm very much.

So, maybe I should give up my attempts at manufacturing a wave machine. And maybe, also, I should accept that each wave that comes has its own individual purpose. Its own direction. It cannot – should not – be siphoned into multiple exploits. I can’t watch my wave and ride it too.

My last batch of drafts didn’t make it aboard the wave they were lining up for. And the waves that came after were already fully booked. So those drafts are still in the queue. And that is okay. They were never urgent. But I’ve never liked the feeling of pending, and it tends to initiate my avoidance mechanism.

This draft caught a different wave, coming in from a different direction. I am labouring a metaphor beyond what is advisable here. It’s sweeping in ahead of the existing queue, which kind of doesn’t seem fair. Sometimes, when this happens, I kick the new thing off the wave. But that is equally inadvisable.

This draft, for example, is riding a modest, expressive whim. That is the nature of the wave. If the whim has enough energy to carry it all the way to shore, it will wash up on the front page of my blog. If not, it’ll paddle back out and join the queue, waiting for a different kind of wave.

If I hit publish on this at all, it will be a side effect, not a direct intention. I can’t redirect the wave to post something unrelated.

And that is the issue with my hoarded blogs. Because the wave is for the writing of them. Sometimes the momentum carries them through the editing and the posting. But sometimes not. And a wave intended for tying up loose ends is an altogether rarer beast in these parts.

There’s probably no point fighting that. My waves are my waves. All things in good time. If I give in to the rhythm I’ll probably get more done.

I haven’t given up on trying to isolate the wave trigger, though. I still think if I can just find the right impetus, unlimited power will be mine. We’ll see.

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