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Use each other’s eyes

We’re all stuck seeing things from wherever we see them from.

And then we’re all stuck talking to each other from whatever place we’re seeing things from.

We’ll never all agree. That’s not just okay, but desirable.

But in times of disagreement, we really want to feel like we are seen. Often our entire aim in an argument is simply to be seen and understood by the other person. The thing is, though, we are seen. It’s just that we’re seen through the distorted lens of the other person, which is different from the distorted lens we use to see ourselves, and our arguments, and our values. They understand us differently from how we understand ourselves. Neither side is objectively correct. But if we’re able to trust the other person’s vision, alongside trusting our own, we will start to see things we couldn’t see before.

Like two eyes: Two eyes are better than one. I imagine that’s why we have them. Use them separately – monocular vision – and each eye can see different things. Combining the information gives you a wider range of view. Use them together on the same objective reality – binocular vision – and the disparity in perception from each eye allows you to assess something about that reality that neither eye could do alone – it lets you judge distance; it lets you see depth.

We desperately need to learn to use each other’s eyes.

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